Goodbyes are hard..

When I was in my teens i could not wait to leave my home, become independent , live life on my own terms. Every birthday was looked forward to with great enthusiasm as it brought me closer to the twenties , an age which i associated with freedom. Freedom from being answerable to my parents for every late night out with friends, freedom from exams, freedom from the feeling that the world was restricted to my home, parents and relatives.

I am in my thirties now. And know what? Not a day goes by when i wish i was a teen again, back in school, back in my house with no responsibilities whatsoever other than worrying about good grades and bad break ups.  But the worst part? Its knowing that my parents are not in the next room and would not be there when i wake up, asking for the paper or bringing my tea.

Their visits are now more precious than ever given that I know that there is a “return” date attached to it. And each goodbye is becoming harder than the previous one.  Age is creeping up on us , we are all getting older. Unspoken feelings over the years needs to be  shared, things need to be done to ensure there are no regrets down the road.

Nevertheless, on the dreaded return date, a grown woman tries to be brave while her mini me s bawl their eyes out. Because if she loses her strength now and truly shows what she is feeling, the cascading effect on her parents and children would be too much to bear.

Until next time Amma and Acha. The countdown has started once again.

 

 

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